I Finally Failed A College Class

**This is not a guide on how to deal with failing a class. 

In the fall of 2019, I transferred to a big university ( University of Central Florida). No longer was I in a small town with my senior high classmates in my community college class. I was in an official university. The school was only two hours away but far enough to where I felt new. I had a goal. I was determined to become spontaneous in a new city and make the best of my remaining undergrad years.

I have always been a good student, always at the top 5% of my class. I’ve never been perfect, but I’ve also never failed a class at all.

When I moved to the city, I soon realized that I was alone and mainly stayed in my dorm. All my plans to be spontaneous and met new people fell flat within the first couple of weeks. I finally realized that I was alone.

“Big cities are lonely .”

In the fall of 2019, I experience my first major depression. I was acting fine but deep down I felt alone, lonely, and just friendless. It was the first time I finally acknowledge that I was truly alone. I consider myself a social butterfly. But something happened. My social butterfly personality took a total turn. Now, I was moody, short-tempered, and just overall lonely. I have never gone a long amount of time without friends and that resulted in me being desperate. I ended up the number one place you don’t meet friends, Tinder.

My Tinder adventure was short. I’ve met questionable people, but the one time I was supposed to meet someone, I felt a warning signal and just ran away before meeting him, thinking he didn’t see me(he did). I

Schoolwork was one of my number one escape and I devoted most of my time to it. I had a routine, I would go to the lecture, finish the work, and just waste the rest of the day away. I had no motivation after finishing my school work. That was my routine for a whole semester. In the times when I didn’t have class or class lecture wasn’t mandatory, I would visit home often.

I have always relied on homework and projects to elevate my grades, I was and still am a terrible test taker. Although I knew all the materials, my mind would go blank on all of my exams. It’s usually around the last hour I manage to pull through and miraculously pass. But that wasn’t the case for this semester. While I managed to focus on my exams, there was one class I just could not.

I somehow managed to pass all my classes with A’s, except the most important class. The class was an important prerequisite to all my future classes for my major. Transferring from a community college set me back on some courses. And after being realistic, I had calculated I could graduate in three years, rather than the initial two. But has failed my most important class set me back?

No. When I first initially realized I have failed my class, I cried. When I found out, I was on the phone with a friend. He wasn’t helpful and just ignored me, I decided not to tell anyone else, especially my family. I fear failure and being seen as vulnerable by them. I understand their reaction would have been a total 360 from my unsupported “friend” and like family they would have cared and been more supportive. But academics were the only thing I was good at, telling them felt like a disappointment.

So, how do you deal with failing a class? You should cry but also remember it’s not the end of the world. Taking some time away from the problem is one of the best remedies.I contacted my advisor and visited the grade forgiveness and course retake policy of my school. I had some peace the moment I realized that I would be fine and I could retake the course again without any penalty. My three-year graduation plan had some wiggle room and I was happy to find out that I would in fact be able to graduate on time.

The following morning, I sat down and analyzed the entire scenario, including my friend’s reaction. My fear of failure comes from my idea of “I have no backup plan if I fail college”. There is no backup plan and that itself is a scary motivation. I had supportive advisors and with their help, I created a realistic schedule to improve my grades and overall productivity. I have come to terms with my depression. I also confronted my “friend” about their unsupportive behavior. If your friends, family, and surroundings don’t want the best for you, set some boundaries, limit their access from you, and move on.

The most important lesson that I have learned from this experience is to accept, analyze, plan, and move on with life. Failing a class was one of the most eye-opening experiences to happen to me. It was something I knew in the back of my mind was bound to happen one day, and it finally did.